


Stitches

by createandable



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-27
Updated: 2016-01-27
Packaged: 2018-05-16 16:06:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,624
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5831953
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/createandable/pseuds/createandable
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>'Cause Kuroko was like a moth drawn to a flame, but yet his lights all leave him just the same.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Stitches

A loud whistle was sounded, cutting through the thick atmosphere of an intense First Years versus Second Years game, efficiently diminishing the harsh, rapid squeaks of basketball shoes on the glistening, hard court floor.

"All right, that's it for today!" The coach, Aida Riko yelled out, earning a series of grateful "Yosh's" in response as practice was signaled over. After the usual daily reminders of "drink up" and "don't forget to stretch", the Seirin team were soon seen bounding out of the court, thinking of various ways on how to spend the last evening of the weekend.

All except for one Kuroko Tetsuya, who had the misfortune of being put on clean up duty with Kagami today.

"Oh, Kuroko," Riko turned around to face the dutiful bluenette who had already started his task of gathering stray balls. "Kagami-kun won't be here today to help you as he had to leave earlier for an urgent matter. Will you be alright alone?"

"Yes, I will be fine, thank you." Kuroko gave a weak smile in reply as he watched the coach call out a thanks whilst running out of the court to most probably enjoy the last remnants of her weekend as well. Turning back towards the now void court, Kuroko sighed.

Truth be told, he wasn't very keen on staying back late today either. But unlike the rest, his reason wasn't one of simply wanting to relax as much as possible before the new week starts. No, it was far more relieving than that....and _important._ Today, for Kuroko, was a special day. The only day in the whole entire year where he would allow his apathetic mask to slip just a fraction and indulge himself in something he will never admit. It was the only day, where he could let all those painful memories, pent up emotion, and urges so strong of being left behind and abandoned to surface onto his face and into his actions.

Today was the exact day, that Aomine had left him.

 

Breaking out of his reverie and deciding he should most probably continue with the task at hand, he proceeded to the gym locker to get his bag and turned on the radio in his phone. Hopefully, this will be distraction enough to deter him for a couple of hours, just a bit, until he got home. Hearing the soothing, crackling sound as the radio connected and came to life, Kuroko went around collecting the many run away balls from the day's vigorous practice, and set to putting them back in its cages.

"Good evening Japan and welcome to the Sunset Show on 98.7 FM with your host Sanada Kiko!"

Kuroko continued his work.

"Lately, a new American song has been taking Japan by storm lately and by popular demand, here is Stitches by Shawn Mendes on 98.7 FM!" Sanada Kiko's shrill and preppy voice echoed throughout the hall. _An American song...._ Kuroko thought almost ruefully, slightly thankful that the fast upbeat rhythms of American Pop will be played, instead of the usual melancholic, tear jerking songs Sanada Kiko was famous for on her radio show. Kuroko possibly won't be able to handle if it was the latter, definitely not. He couldn't risk having someone walk in on him just because he couldn't control his urges instigated from a sad song. No, not now.... _Not yet._

With high expectations weighing, wanting to understand maybe a gist of how the American songs Kagami liked so much sounded, he listened in. He could hear the strums of the first few chords on the guitar, was this maybe an acoustic? He could hear the steady beat that was starting to form, he could hear the small inhale of breathe the producers tried to cover up as the artist prepared to sing, he could-

 

_**I thought that I've been left before** _

_**But no one's ever left me quite this sore** _

Kuroko stiffened, trembling hands tightening his hold on the basketball.

 

**_Your words cut deeper than a knife_ **

Kuroko could see, that first time he did it.

 

**_Now I need someone to bring me back to life_ **

He inhaled and exhaled. _No, this cannot be happening, not now. Where was the American Pop, why is...No....._ For the first time in his life, Kuroko cursed his talent at being able to learn new languages quickly as each new English word sung, struck him in the ear and triggered something he was obviously trying to suppress in his mind.

His knuckles were now deathly white.

 

**_Got a feeling that I'm going under_ **

**_But I know that I'll make it out alive_ **

He tried to stop it, the steady flow of emotions that was rushing to the forefront of his mind like the blood that gushed out of his wounds every year. He tried to stop it, as images, upon images of _him_ appeared. He tried to stop it as the memory from that time threatened to seize hold of him and he knew. He knew that once he remembered, he won't be able to stop.

 

**_If I calling you my lover_ **

The trigger was pulled and shot deep into Kuroko's mind.

 

**_Move on_ **

"I don't need you anymore Tetsu, you're too weak. The only one that can beat me now, is me."

Kuroko let the ball drop, a resounding thud on the yellow wood floor as he crumpled down to the ground like a ruined paper doll.

 

_**You watch me bleed until I can't breathe** _

_**I'm shaking, falling onto my knees** _

The colours were to vibrant now, the memory too sharp and Kuroko could see it. He could see his own pale, outstretched hand towards a dark, tan one. A hand fisted to the other, waiting for the resolute bump of the other's rough fingers against his own. 

 

**_And now that I'm without your kisses_ **

He never received a reply, his fist was still there, lingering. 

 

**_I'll be needing stitches_ **

The scene was still the same, the roaring crowd of supporters as Teiko won yet another match, the same lack of reply as before. But this time, it wasn't the back of _his_ jersey he was staring at, but his own sullied wrist as it looked back at him, taunting. 

 

**_I'm tripping over myself,_ **

**_I'm aching begging you to come help_ **

Kuroko was chasing _him_ now, trying his hardest to chase after that dark figure that seemed to glow under the fluorescent lights of the court, an ethereal figure that no matter how hard he tried, he could never reach.

_Please come back, don't leave me, please._

 

**_And now that I'm without your kisses_ **

**_I'll be needing stitches_ **

_His_ number was no longer in sight. The prominent jersey number 6 printed proudly on white and blue fabric could no longer be seen. In it's path, was Kuroko's disgusting wrist again, brandishing each stroke under the light as reasons to why he will never be able to catch up to _him._ The existence of these lines was proof enough. _He was weak._

 

**_Just like a moth drawn to a flame_ **

Kuroko grabbed at his hair, wanting to feel a semblance of reality as he pulled at the locks. That was what he was. A moth. A foul, dull, with absolute no brilliance, a moth. A pest. 

 

_**Oh you lured me in, I couldn't sense the pain** _

_But now I do.  
_

 

**_Your bitter heart cold to the touch_ **

_Not that someone like me could change that,_ Kuroko thought bitterly. _How could I have been so stupid to think that_ ** _he_** _needed me, no one ever does._ Kuroko wrenched at his hair harder, his breathing erratic. **_He_** _was brilliant to begin with, so brilliant. How could I think.... How could I have thought_ _  
_

 

**_Now I'm going to reap what I sow_ **

_No one ever needs me._ Kuroko started to laugh. An empty, breathless, laugh. A laugh, full of painful realization.

_No one ever needs me. No one ever needs me. No one ever-_

 

**_I'm left seeing red on my own_ **

_Kagami!_

 

**_Got a feeling that I'm going under_ **

**_But I know that I'll make it out alive_ **

His head shot bold upright. Heart filled with hopeful want and desire as he remembered- _\- Kagami, how could I forget Kagami. My new light. He will never leave me. Never. Never. Nev-_

 

**_If I quit calling you my lover_ **

_Ever. He will ever leave me. He will leave me._ Dread started to fill his body, hope of moments ago being thoroughly washed away as the memory of being left behind resurfaced. _  
_

 

**_Move on_ **

This time, it was Kagami saying it instead. 

 

_**You watch me bleed until I can't breathe** _

_**I'm shaking, falling onto my knees** _

He has to go now. Kuroko knew that he had to leave now. The urge, that itching, this all to familiar feeling was starting again. Kuroko started to run.

 

_**And now that I'm without your kisses** _

_**I'll be needing stitches** _

_Get out of my head, get out of my head!  
_ Kuroko repeated severely, clutching his head, eyes screwed shut as he tried to let the darkness consume him, calm him.

 

_**I'm tripping over myself** _

Eyes closed, he didn't see the basketball he had let go earlier in front of him, and he went crashing down. 

 

**_I'm aching begging you to come help_ **

Warm blood trickled down his forehead an Kuroko revelved in the sensation. Touching the now open gash on his head gingerly, Kuroko stared, dazed, at the pretty sight of crimson blood staining and seeping into his fair hands. 

 

**_And now that I'm without your kisses_ **

**_I'll be needing stitches_ **

The image of that last fist bump visualized in fron of Kuroko's eyes. His pale hand, outstretched to a tan hand. Two tan hands. He still received the same reply, the same outcome and watched the two numbers 5 and 10 drifting further and further away.

 

_**Needle and the thread** _

_**Gotta get you out of my head** _

"Oi Ahomine, be careful! You're gonna end up dropping it!" Kagami cursed at said indivual, trying to balance the decorations and other "necessary" items Touou's manager deemed needed. 

 

**_Needle and the thread_ **

**_Gonna wind up dead_ **

"Hey it's not my fault that there are so many goddamn stairs in your school! Where's the fucking life even!" Aomine retorted back, no way in hell was he going to let that Bakagami get away with getting a dig at him like that. _Becuase only Satsuki can do that,_ he added slyly in his head.

 

**_Needle and the thread_ **

**_Gotta get you out of my head_ **

"Don't have one," Kagami drawled back, looking back to see his assigned partner's progress. His eyebrow started to twitch. "Will you stop reading that stupid magazine while walking! I sear for the love of fucking whoever is up there, I will tear it u-"

 

**_Needle and the thread_ **

**_Gonna wind up dead_ **

"For your information, Horikita Mai isn't stupid, she is heavenly. Don't be such a dick Kagami!" Aomine defended hotly. Kagami felt his other eyebrow start to twitch and resisted the urge to kick his, with emphasis on _"assigned"_ partner's sorry ass. 

_This is for a good cause,_ he repeated, _this is for a good cause._

 

**_Needle and the thread_ **

**_Gotta get you out of my head_ **

The rest of the walk up was done in relative peace as the two accursed, assigned partners climbed with minimal squabble. Seriously, Momoi must have been eating something bad today (her own lemons, Aomine reckons). I mean, who would think of putting aforementioned dumb and dumber together? As they began to reach closer to their main destination and symbol of the end of this, whatever you call it, " _partnership",_ both Kagami and Aomined hastened their pace towards the gym. 

"Needle and the thread, gonna wind up dead"

"Hey who's playing music in the gym right now>" Kagami glanced towards the gym door quizzically as he saw the light leaks below the door, representing that someone was indeed inside.

"I don't know, aren't you supposed to know?" Aomine replied back, "I mean, this is _your_ school."

"Shut up, I know that."

 

_**Needle and the thread** _

_**Gotta get you out of my head, get you out of my head** _

The memories were too much for Kuroko. The images were too much for him. He grasped at whatever he could get his hands on, blunt nails scratching against polished wood. He breathed harshly, the sounds mixing in with the screech of his scratching and he let out an animalistic whimper and got up.

 

_**You watch me bleed until I can't breathe** _

_**I'm shaking, falling onto my knees** _

He was running, _again_. To where? He didn't know. All he knew was he had to run, he had to run away before those memories come back again, before the feeling became to fresh again. _He can't do it here, he can't._

 

**_And now that I'm without your kisses_ **

**_I'll be needing stitches_ **

"Hey watch it, the ceiling gets a bit low here. Hit my head the first time and had to get three stitches to close it." Kagami warned Aomine as they came to the last flight of steps to the gym.

"Haha, typical." Aomine laughed out, glad that he had a story of Kagami's stupidity to blackmail him about, but heeded his advice nonetheless.

 

_**I'm tripping over myself** _

_**I'm aching begging you to come help** _

The light danced in front of Kuroko's eyes and blurred his vision as he ran. He couldn't feel anything anymore. He didn't even know where he was going. He tasted salt on his tongue and raised his hand slightly to touch his face. Trails of saliva mixing with tears belonging to a broken boy slid down his hand and he knew he _had to do it_ _now_ , before he became a goner. Thoughts of being caught were no longer a fear of his, he has seen and felt worse. 

He was going to do it now.

 

_**And now that I'm without your kisses** _

He came to a halt, eyes darting around the room like a frightened animal looking for solace and he found it. His relief. 

 

_**I'll be needing stitches** _

Gripping the hard plasitc of his gym bag, he rummaged through the front pocket for his little secret. He felt a sharp tip, and pulled it out.

 

_**And now that I'm without your kisses** _

He slumped down against the wall, feeling the comfortable weight of his secret on his palm. The wonderful object that managed to make all that has hurt go away with one flick of a wrist and a little bit of pressure. 

 

**_I'll be needing stitches._ **

He carefully peeled off his wristband, revealing scars of the past and looked down at them almost in a proud trance. He scratched at them, rubbed them furiously, wanting to embed the past few times back in his mind, in his skin, in his being. In a half lucid state, he could almost see the multi colored gashes as fresh as when he had made them those years back. Colours of Red, Blue, Purple, Yellow and Green swarmed his sight. 

One for every each of them that left him.

 

_**And now that I'm without your kisses** _

Kuroko placed it on a new, unmarked part of his wrist, relishing the feeling of cool metal against his hot, feverish skin. He pressed, feeling the begginning stings of a new addition to his amassed one and looked up, thinking of his current light through wet lashes. 

 

_**I'll be needing stitches** _

Kuroko smiled. One more to add, He sliced. 

 

Behind him, behind a slighly ajar door, a soft thus could be heard as a box holding a beautifully decorated cake dropped. Smudging the icing that read

Happy Birthday, Kuroko

 

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, hope you enjoyed this little fic (I'm so sorry for the ending TT) that I had at the back of my mind and wanted to publish for a really long time. To clear a few things up, yes this story contains self-harm so I apologise if it shocked or affected any of you guys!  
> Next, this story happens in the first year that Kuroko was at Seirin so hence no one really knew his birthday since it falls on the 31st of Jan,which is a Sunday this year. Also, the part where the day Aomine left him and Kuroko's birthday coincides, was purely made up by me so sorry if any of you were confused.  
> Lastly, this whole fic is basically a show of Kuroko's slow descent to a breakdown following the lyrics of Stitches by Shawn Mendes as I really couldn't get the image out of my mind as soon as I heard the song (the references were too many!). 
> 
> Anyways, sorry for my long ramble and once again, Happy (early) Birthday Kuroko! ^^
> 
> where to find me:  
> tumblr:createandable


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